central ideas
by oh sweet jesus
Summary: first person. akuroku. akusor. read it.


So, you want to know the back-story?  
You just want to know the story.

Well, here I am, sitting outside a door, listening.

Yes, listening.

What am I listening to?  
Definitely not music.

I'm listening to my husband get laid by another man.

Just because I hurt myself; got hit by a car I did, and I'm not allowed to have sex.

That just would do with former slut Roxas. I thought I'd changed him.

Brought him in to my house when he was sixteen, kept him off drugs and off men and women.

Fed him. He was almost to the point of anorexia, you know. Washed his hair until it shone, made him sleep.

When he turned twenty, I thought he was past it all, he had learned to love again. So I told him I loved him, and from that point forward, instead of occupying my house, he occupied my bed, my life, my heart.

Whenever I was out doing something, I would always text him just something sweet. He couldn't relapse on me, no. Not now.

I asked him to marry me, and he did. He looked gorgeous on our wedding day, his cheeks were flushed pink and his blue eyes sparkled, the nicely fitting suit pressed tightly to his body. When the 'big guy' said we could kiss, I picked him up and he wrapped his legs around his waist and we showed them, all of them, how we felt about each other. We were happy for a year. One year exactly. From January 6th, 2008 too January 6th, 2009. That was the day I was going to get him some flowers. Or a flower. A red rose. I was tight on cash, I spent it all on Roxas' food addictions. I had to keep him from relapsing.

I still love to walk over to his room and look at him, look to his beautiful face softly resting, chest rising and falling. It was serene. It was almost like he wasn't who he was. I hate it once he finally opens his eyes; you see all the sin in them. You see the hatred for me in them, just because he can't abuse my body anymore.

I love it when he sleeps, his lashes lay on his cheeks like a dolls', his lips press, and sometimes, I kiss them.

Roxas has never kissed me back with love since our wedding day. I don't even think he wears the ring anymore. The ring that cost me my paycheck for all the years I'd known him. He simply told me 'Sorry, doll face, I think I dropped it'. And I stood there and took it. I also stood there and took it when I couldn't get him what he needed; Twinkies. I spent the much needed five dollar bill on some cold medicine.

I took it back. Got him his Twinkies. Oh, and, almost died of pneumonia.

He never says sorry. When he was younger, he was a sweet kid. I loved him then. He was darling, you know, always wanting my attention, always curling up next to me to watch some good old television. Sleeping in the same bad as me.

Did I tell you he doesn't sleep with me anymore?  
He told me I look weird when I sleep.

And I took it.

Then a car hit me, badly crippling me for a while. I couldn't provide Roxas with my body; therefore, there was no reason for him to stick around except for free places to sleep and free food.

I look down at my ring. I twirl it. It's not pretty like the one I spent on Roxas. I know he doesn't care about me; he only cares about himself. Roxas went and got it at the pawn shop the morning of our wedding. But I treasured it, because that stupid blonde had given it to me.

So we agreed to this deal.

Until I get better, Roxas can have sex with others, but I have to approve. Do you know how hard it is to choose which man or woman your husband is going to go into a room and fuck senseless? I can hear it. I'm trying to read a book, I want to leave, but I have to stay and take him home, make sure the person doesn't use unnecessary force.

I look up as I hear footsteps padding softly down the hall, and at first I think it's Roxas. With brown hair. And caring eyes.

"H-hey… uh, are you… Axel?"  
That's what he told me.

I responded with a nod.

He told me he was here to be my new husband.

And you know what?  
That boy is so much better then Roxas has ever been.

He gets mad when I spoil him too much. He smiles really cute, and he kisses me at random intervals. He wears the cheap ring I bought for him, and he wears it with pride. I knew him, I dated him in high school. I remember when he went to college and we lost touch.

But I'll confess a sin to you.

Whenever I sleep with him, I close my eyes and imagine Roxas. Because he truly satisfied me, in all ways but matters of the heart.

But I'd never tell Sora, my sky, that, as I lean down to softly kiss him goodnight, tasting the cocoa he had sipped when we watched 'Flightplan' and then 'The Mist' before going to bed.

Life was right with the world.

But little did I know, a blonde boy died in the ER from major burns. I guess he really liked it rough.


End file.
